I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
