so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
