Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
