The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
