haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
