you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize