Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
