does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
whose ass print is on the piano?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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