you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize