Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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