She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
