and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
