some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
