The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
