Pregnant stripper...not hot.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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