when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
