im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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