I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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