that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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