paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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