I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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