hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
