I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
