We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
