Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
