come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
