I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
