Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
