quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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