She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
