Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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