And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
