the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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