dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
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