if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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