I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
