I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I still have a little drunk in my system
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
