So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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