Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
