Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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