So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You were trust falling into bushes
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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