I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sober January is a disaster.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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