I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
