accomplished twins. life is a go
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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