So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
