Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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