chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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