One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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