you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
