I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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