Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
