She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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