Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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